


My New Hope

by MrsArmageddon



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Battlefront 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, M/M, Original Character(s), Simon/Star Wars crossover, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsArmageddon/pseuds/MrsArmageddon
Summary: Leah writes a Star Wars AU starring Bram and Simon and its kinda terrible and kinda cliché and Simon can’t help but love herAKA the Star Wars AU that Simon never asked for





	My New Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This is a secret santa gift to Yak (shoutout to the Creek Secret discord fam WOOOO) 
> 
> Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

“So, let me get this straight: you wrote fanfiction…. About me… and Bram?”

From the corner of the Skype screen, half out of view, I could see Leah shaking her head.

“Stop trying to make it sound creepy.”

“Trust me – it’s doing that on its own.”

The terrible late-night connection meant her face was pixelated and blurry, but I could still see her roll her eyes.

Ever since Bram introduced Leah to the big ol’ world of Star Wars, they hadn’t stopped talking about it. Which was a good thing, Simon could admit – his best friend and his boyfriend, hanging out, being close; it was an awesome feeling. Except, when Leah loved something, she _really_ loved it. Which wasn’t a bad thing per se. Except, one thing can lead to another, and you can end up finding yourself being the main character in a fanfic written at 2am after watching The Last Jedi for the third time. In a row.

“Just give it a chance, Spier – I promise I did you guys justice.”

At this point, Simon didn’t know whether to laugh or turn Skype off, close his laptop and pretend this whole conversation never happened.

“If I read it, how likely am I to die by over-cringing?”

“Simon!”

He groaned.

“Fine, send it through.”

Leah’s pixelated face lit up.

“You’ll like it, I promise,” she grins as she hurriedly types something long into her keyboard. Simon couldn’t help but smile. When they were in public, she had such a cool composure. But in moments like this, when it was just the two of them, and she let her guard down, even momentarily, it was really nice.

Within minutes, a notification popped up on Simon’s screen. He hesitantly clicked on it, and watched as the page loaded up. _Please don’t be smut._

“It’s set during the original movies, because ‘The First Order’ is a stupid name for a bad guy.”

“Debatable,” Simon muttered in response as his eyes scanned the summary. The more he read, the more he wanted to gauge his eyes out. “Leah, come _on – “_

“Hey, it’s not _that_ bad!”

Simon gave her a pointed look.

“’ _Simon Spier is the best damn pilot this side of the galaxy, that much he’s sure of. But when the Rebellion freighter ship is discovered to be carrying more than just supplies to General Organa on Naboo, it won’t be just his skills that’ll be put to the test.’_ Why is this reading like the beginning of a bad porno?”

“Why are you like this, Simon?” Leah groaned.

He couldn’t help himself - he chuckled.

“Okay, okay, okay.” Simon took a deep breath, and scrolled down.

 

_“Captain Spier!” I looked away from the holo-deck and turned towards the voice._

_“Admiral on deck!”_

_“At ease,” Admiral Klai Odan waved the nearby officers away as he stalked toward the deck with a big shit-eating grin._

“Klai Odan?” Simon asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I actually googled ‘Star Wars sounding names’,” Leah responded. “It was an experience.”

_“Admiral, to what do I owe the pleasure?”_

_“Cut the pleasantries, Spier. I have a mission for you.” Despite how much I did_ not _like the Admiral, I couldn’t help but feel excited every time those magic words were spoken._

 

“Magic words? Oh, boy.”

“Stay with it, Simon.”

_“There is an important freighter ship coming to meet us. Its job is to carry spare weaponry and medical supplies we have on us to Leia Organa’s group of Rebels down on Naboo. I’m worried the Empire may come to intercept it. Your mission is to escort the crew to Naboo.”_

_My smile dropped. “I’m on protection duty?” That would explain the grin._

_Admiral Odan slapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t look so glum, Spier. If you don’t think you’re up to the task, I can always ground you and put you on X-Wing maintenance.”_

“What an asshole. I bet he’s secretly the bad guy. Is he the bad guy? I’m calling it now.” Simon couldn’t be more sarcastic at this point.

“Shut up, Spier.”

_I gritted my teeth. “That won’t be necessary, Admiral,” I spat out._

_Odan sneered. “Go and prepare. I want you ready in five.”_

_“Just me? What about my squad?”_

_“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can handle this,” he called back as he stalked away like the cocky shit he was. I clenched my first and took a deep breath. Protection duty, easy enough. What could possibly go wrong?_

 

“You know, I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘I have a bad feeling about this’.”

“This is only the first draft.”

“Of course it is.”

 

_While the Republic cruiser drifted through the Outer Rim, the supplies freighter came swiftly out of hyperspeed, and docked onto the cruiser without hesitation. Within minutes, the transporter was packed and fuelled, and the pilot – Tera Recto, a small but aggressive woman – was running a final check on the stored supplies when I marched on board with my droid, R3-S6, trailing slightly behind."Captain Spier? I wasn’t told you would be joining me today.”_

_“The Admiral added me on last minute. Besides, I couldn’t miss all the fun on Naboo,” I said with a charming grin._

_Tera rolled her eyes. “If by ‘fun’, you mean ‘political shitstorm’. But I never say no to an extra set of hands. Strap yourself in, we’re about to take off.”_

_I threw myself into the co-pilot seat as Tera initiated the take-off procedure. As the freighter made its way off the cruiser, curiosity nudged at me._

_“What did you mean by ‘political shitstorm’? Is it really that bad on Naboo?” I asked._

_Tera scoffed over the console. “Are you kidding me? With the Death Star blown, and the Emperor dead, the Empire is in shambles. There’s rumours that they’re going to launch Operation: Cinder as a final retaliation against the Republic, so General Organa is down there trying to talk them down.”_

_“Operation: Cinder?”_

_Tera shrugged. “Some plan to bring down as many systems as they can with them. I don’t know, I’m not a politician; I only hear whispers from other pilots.”_

_I nodded in understanding. Tera flicked a few switches, and then, before I realised it, we were in hyperspace._ _Tera stretched. “We’ll be lucky if we get even ten feet from the Princess herself. Sorry, Spier, but you chose the wrong mission to gate crash.”_

_I was about to reply, when suddenly there was a loud crash from behind us. We froze. “Who else is on board?” I whispered._

_Tera looked at him. “No one besides us and a medical droid in the back."_

_I stood slowly and reached for the blaster I kept at my hip. “Maybe this is the right ship to be on after all,” I muttered._

“Ooh, some action. Hey, maybe I should get some tights and a belt, and get a blaster in real life. You know, go all ‘Han Solo-y’. How badass would that be?” Simon grinned.

Leah’s look silenced him, though his smile didn’t falter.

 

_The ship was small, and didn’t have a whole lot of room for crew or storage. It was nimble and effective for transportation means. What it lacked, however, were weapons, or any kind of defence system. It was a sitting duck if the ship were to come across any Empire cruisers. I lifted the blaster as I made my way through the bridge, to the back, where a single door lead into where the supplies were being kept._

“You’re so wise with your words.”

“Screw you.”

 

_I paused, and counted to three. Then, I hit the switch, and watched the door slide open. I looked over at Tera, who matched my gaze with a worried look. I stepped inside and pointed my blaster. “Don’t move.”_

_There, in the middle of the room, was a figure dressed in black, back pointing towards me, with their hands up. “Please don’t shoot!” A low voice called out. The figure slowly spun around. My hand gripped the blaster harder._

_He was a young guy, with dark skin, and brown eyes. He was wearing a black sweater, and his eyes were wide, probably from fear or from being caught off guard. But I didn’t care about that. All I cared about was what was in his hand: a big, white helmet. “You’re a Stormtrooper.”_

“I’m guessing that’s Bram?”

“Yup.”

“Let me guess: I fall in love with him, and we run away from everything and live happily ever after together?”

“Just keep reading.”

 

_Tera moved first. She went for her blaster before either of us had time to move. The guy in black flinched back. “Please, no! No, I-I’m not a threat!” He stuttered. I reached for Tera’s blaster._

_“Wait – “_

_“He’s the enemy!_ And _he’s a stowaway! I am_ not _letting him live – “_

_“Put it down, soldier!” I wrenched her gun downwards, and looked over at the trooper. He was still staring at the blaster. I took him in. His boots and ankle plates were still on, but the rest of him was covered in basic black clothing, with barely any dark skin visible. He seemed thin, and dirty. There wasn’t a single threat on him, or anywhere near him, from what I could see. He was harmless. And afraid._

_“What’s your name?” I asked him. His wide eyes darted back up to mine._

_“CT-0118. My, uh… my squad called me Greenie.” I nodded._

“Greenie?”

“Well I couldn’t call him ‘Bram’. American history doesn’t exist in the world of Star Wars. And ‘Greenfeld’ is too boring.”

“I’m calling him that from now on, just to let you know.”

“Ew. Keep reading.”

_“And where is your squad, Greenie?”_

_“…I don’t know. Last time I saw them was on Endor.”_

_I glanced back over at Tera. She was frowning in confusion. “You were in the Battle of Endor?” She asked._

_Greenie nodded. “I watched the Death Star blow up. I… I knew there would be no future for us… so I… abandoned my squad. I stole a fighter and… made my way to Crait.”_

“He sounds nothing like Bram!”

“Like I said, first draft.”

_Tera glanced my direction. “That’s where this ship came from.”_

_I stood up straight. “So, you’re a deserter?” Greenie nodded frantically._

_“Please, I mean no harm. I just want to get as far away from the Empire as I can.”_

_“Bullshit,” Tera spat. “It’s all bullshit. He’s a filthy liar. We should shoot him right now.” I ripped the blaster from her hands._

_“You’re okay with shooting a man in cold blood?”_

_“His hands aren’t clean, he knows what he’s done,” Tera growled. I took a step in front of her, half shielding a now shaking Greenie._

_“We are not killing him.”_

_She glared at me._

_“Fine,” she said. “I’ll hand him over to the Republic. They can have their way with him instead.” She spun around, without her blaster, and lurched for the controls. I looked over my shoulder._

_“Are you okay?” Greenie nodded frantically. I looked back at Tera, who was now speaking into the console mic. “We’re going to land right in the middle of Theed,” I explained softly to Greenie, “it’s surrounded by Rebel soldiers. I can get rid of your uniform, but you’re going to need to steal a ship and get out of the Chommell sector as fast as you can. Get to Takodana, if you can. From there you can get transport further out.”_

_“Why are you helping me?” Greenie muttered back. I thought about that for a moment._

_“If I help you and you’re genuine, my conscience stays clean. If I help you and you end up bringing the remainders of the Empire to our doorstep, I’ll actually have something interesting to do.” Plus you’re cute, I added mentally._

“Wow,” Simon said with a raised eyebrow, “I sound like an asshole.”

“Yup. It's pretty accurate, huh?”

“Haha. Funny.”

 

_Within a few minutes, the transporter jumped out of hyperspace, and drifted down into Naboo’s beautiful capital, Theed. As the ship docked right outside of the palace, Tera stalked past both of us with a determined look in her eyes. As soon as she was off the ship, and waltzing on over to the nearest guard, I grabbed Greenie’s arm, and snuck him off, half dragging and half pushing him along. Despite the situation, it felt good to have my boots hit actual soil, and to breathe in the atmosphere. “You’re on your own now, Greenie,” I pushed him away from the ship. “The Republic thanks you for your actions, blah blah blah. Good luck out there.” I started to turn away._

_“H-hey, wait!” I turned back. Greenie had his arm stuck out towards me. “Thank you,” he said, “for everything.” He looked so hopeful. I sighed and shook his hand._

_“You’re welcome, my friend.”_

_“I owe you one. If we ever meet again, that is…”_

_I smiled. “Well, it’s a big galaxy out there, but… I have faith.”_

_I looked down. We were still holding hands. I cleared my throat and took my hand away. “Like I said, good luck. May the Force be with you.”_

Simon groaned.

 

_And with that, I bade him adieu, and went to go find my co-pilot._

Simon tried to scroll further down but couldn’t. “Where’s the rest of it?” He asked, switching browser tabs to bring up Skype again. Leah’s pixelated body shrugged.

“That’s all I got so far, but I plan for it to be a lot longer, with lots of complex plot and everything… that was only chapter one. I’m guessing you liked it.”

“Hmm, it was alright. Needs some work, but you got real potential here, Leah. Just don’t quick your day job.”

“Oh, Simon, what would I do without you?”

“For starters, you wouldn’t have a great writing career.” They both laughed. Despite the sarcasm, and the joking, Simon wasn’t lying; Leah was talented, in all areas of the Arts. She could have a great career someday. For a moment, Simon felt a wave of pride, like a mother who just watched her daughter get her first A. He was always going to feel proud about her work.

They were both quiet for a moment. Then, “I gotta admit – Captain Spier sounds good. Really rolls off the tongue.”

“Ew. Okay, I’m done. Goodnight, Spier.”

“Hey, that’s Captain to you!” Simon chucked as he watched Leah’s face disappear, and he was left to the 3am silence.

Simon’s smile was still evident, even as he closed his laptop down, and slid into bed. He was sarcastic, but he really did love it when his friends trusted him to share their passions with. It made him feel included, like family. It made his heart swell with pride and joy, like the sap he was.

 

And he absolutely was going to tell Bram everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone was probably wayyyyy too ooc but really I just love Sarcastic Little Shit!Simon too much okay so sue me
> 
> I can't believe the first thing I post on here is a shitty Star Wars AU just know that I'm quietly dying on the inside 
> 
> Happy holidays!


End file.
